Don’t make people feel like they need to be fixed.
If that is something you do, stop it.
I have been the person I am about to describe, so I say this with as much humility, love, and empathy as I can communicate through words:
It doesn’t matter what mood you’re in, be kind …always be kind-you are not 7 years old anymore.
You are an adult with the capacity to control your emotions and the way you treat people.
(there, I said it...)
.I’m energetic and sometimes loud and I get crazy excited about lots of things, like…
I am a task-oriented chick and I love the way momentum feels. I love getting sh#! done.
-> partly because I have an abundance of energy (until I collapse at 10 pm) and partly because I feel more worthy of the space I take up when I am productive.
(it has taken me years of "therapy" to figure that out! And by therapy, I mean wine + girlfriends + honest conversation.) 😉 . .
I have always been this way-as far back as I can remember-it is part of my story.
Your story is unique, like your fingerprint. So is mine.
YOU know intimately the path you walk, what you dream of, what lights you up, what makes you ache…
(I am going somewhere with this, I promise)
I decided to write this blog post because it sucks to feel like you need to be fixed.
Here is what happened : an acquaintance made a less-than-kind remark about my energetic personality. Three times. Then a week later a very close friend said “Cate just dials it straight to 11, huh?”.
I don’t know if he meant it as an insult or a compliment, but on the heels of the comments made by that acquaintance, I defended myself, felt like I was too much, and then shrank.
It feels awful …because feeling like you’re too much of something or not enough of another-hurts.
If we make no more improvements in our relentless pursuit of perfection, we are enough just as we are, aren’t we?
And who decides that anyway? Who made my acquaintance the boss of me?
I know what you’re thinking : maybe you’re not her cup of tea…and you’re correct. Clearly, I am not. And that’s totally ok; but the passive aggressive comments aren’t cool. They communicate “not-enough-ness”.
(It's a word. Google it. OK...OK...it's not actually a word-but you know what I mean.) 😉
The best part is that as we age we settle into who we really are-without apology. Whoa, I love that!!!!
(see? I get excited)
And here is what this little incident taught me :
Surrendering to who I truly am is often more difficult for me than the effort and pain of changing myself. That’s big, right?
...WHAAAAAAAT? YUP! Bells went off for me! And horns too - actually, it might have been a marching band! ...it was a huge "aha moment" - to quote the lovely Miss Oprah .
Does that resonate with you at all? Comment below-I promise not to bite. 😉
To paraphrase the magnificent Brene Brown :
Don’t hustle for your worthiness. Walk inside your story.
. (Pssssst : for more of this stuff, subscribe to the blog here. It really does tickle. hehe)