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{courage} comes in many forms...

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Let yourself be seen

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Authenticity is something I talk about a lot.

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I have built an entire business around “redefining authenticity”. 

One could argue it has become part of my identity and yet I fail miserably at it sometimes.

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I have spent so much mental energy trying to figure out exactly what it means to be authentic.

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In my quiet, honest moments I will admit that I sometimes evaluate the behaviours of other people and weigh them against my own authenticity yardstick.

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I look at their decisions and actions and compare them to my own, draw conclusions, and feel a little bit better or a little bit worse about myself…and nothing about that is honest or authentic.

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To admit you make mistakes BUT that you are not your mistakes mistakes - is authentic.

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Decisions are much easier when you know what you believe; there isn’t much room for debate when you have drawn your line in the sand…problem is, beliefs evolve and change.

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Authenticity, like beauty, seems to be largely subjective and dependent on the individual. 

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I struggle with this because part of me wants a right answer-an absolute definition that determines the rightness or wrongness of something; it is much easier to judge something when you have a perfect answer.

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I have tried to judge authenticity this way and every time I do I am reminded that what is right and honest and real for me is not necessarily the same for others and I have struggled to accept this.

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To admit that life is not always black and white and often in the grey - is authentic.

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life is often in the grey

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Lately, I have experienced many situations that have forced me to draw my line in the sand and all of these experiences have happened in the context of my relationships.  And after months of trying to unpack these experiences and learn from them, the only thing I am sure of is that authentic relationships are the most difficult and life giving parts of my world.

And, I need them.

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To admit you need people and that intimacy is both risky and essential for you - is authentic.

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camping laughing kims neck

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.Authenticity means being as honest and transparent as possible…even when your honesty is a window into your ugliness and fear.

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It means not everyone is worthy of seeing into that window and you get to choose who does.

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It means that you will hurt the people you love and make mistakes and behave in petty, fearful ways that aren’t a reflection of you heart, but rather of your brokenness.

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It means that sometimes you will thrive and have an abundance of grace to give and sometimes you will need to take and take.

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 It means that when you are excellent at something, you don't minimize your excellence and apologize for it, but accept that gift humbly.

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It means that you will not always love others well but you will always try.

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It means that when you are being asked to do something that conflicts with your beliefs, you are allowed to walk away without explaining and justifying yourself.

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 It means that when you hurt, you lovingly express your hurt.

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It means that when you are too tired to care, you give yourself the space to self-protect and emotionally cocoon for as long as it takes to re-engage.

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 It means that when you are bursting with love and gratitude for the people you love, you are allowed to openly and shamelessly express that love, even if you are afraid it will look silly.

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Authenticity means that you work at continuing to be self aware.  

It means that you have knowledge of and trust in your own motives, feelings, and abilities.  

It requires that you work at making sure my actions are in line with your beliefs, even if that means you risk something.

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Authenticity requires courage and self-respect.

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Cate Moore

Founder, TRU VITALITY CLINIC

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